As I sit at the piano, ready to play, I feel the weight of a great responsibility. Each note and chord carries the composer's essence, who has entrusted me with his vision. This task is not just about technical skill; it requires a deep spiritual connection, unwavering integrity, and complete impartiality.
Even if they are no longer physically with us, collaborating with the composer means conversing silently with their spirit. I must become a channel for their vision, allowing their emotions and intentions to flow through me without interference. This means setting aside my ego and personal mannerisms that might distort their creation. My hands must move not with my intentions but with the composer's, echoing their true essence.
This endeavour demands immense integrity. It's not enough to play the notes as written; I must delve into the subtle nuances that convey the composer's valid message. This requires complete dedication to soundscapes and expressions, leaving no room for my personal preferences. Any moment spent imposing my touch creates a dissonance that betrays the composer's intent.
It's a difficult path. Letting go of my personal touch and becoming a vessel for another's vision means confronting my limitations and insecurities. Many musicians play cautiously, not because they lack emotional depth but because they fear the intensity of those emotions. Fully embracing the composer's voice means opening myself to a powerful emotional experience.
Yet, this is where true artistry lies. By dedicating myself entirely to the composer's expression, I find a level of authenticity that ego-driven performance cannot achieve. The music becomes a living entity, resonating with genuine emotion. In these moments of perfect alignment, the boundaries between composer and performer dissolve, and the music speaks with a clear, unified voice.
The journey is challenging, requiring the relentless pursuit of purity and truth. But it's a journey worth taking. By devoting myself to the composer's vision, I honour their legacy and bring their creation to life in its most accurate form. As I play, I am not just a performer but a guardian of the composer's soul, a steward of their timeless gift to the world. In this role, I find my deepest fulfilment and highest calling.
And yet, despite my dedication, I often feel that I still need to be better to do justice to a Beethoven Sonata or a Bach Partita. These masterpieces demand more than I can currently give. Thus, relentless study and continuous improvement remain my constant companions on this journey.
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